Monday, February 6, 2012

I often wonder at mankind. I marvel at the complexity with which we as human beings are comprised. We are not simple, but we are. All we want is love and the basics of life. Yet, we are driven so often by so many unseen factors that we don’t recognize that we are just looking for the simple things.

Sometimes I ponder what lies behind my own thoughts and actions. I wonder what is motivating me to make these choices, say these words, and act upon them. What makes me talk about things I would rather not? I have not yet begun to discover all of who I am, let alone say I have one little piece of the market on knowing others. I imagine that I will not wholly know myself by the time my life is complete, but I am willing to find out what I’m made of between here and there. I know that I will find out unpleasant things, but I so desire to find the good, shine it up, and share it. Although things may never be what they seem, I want to be honest, real, and good. Even if I don’t know what’s coming ‘round the bend.

Puri on my mind. HAH!

Saturday, February 4, 2012

From La la Land

Sometimes I look at my life and wonder, “Is this mine? If so, how did I end up here? What am I doing? How has all this stuff gone on?” Some days I feel like I’ve lived a life that you read about in books.

I never thought about it until a few days ago. Someone pointed out to me some beautiful things that I’ve forgotten about. It’s funny how sometimes it takes someone else appreciating the life you’ve lived to make you realize how appreciative you could and should be. Not like that sort of pressure that says “Look how lucky you are, you ungrateful being you,” but something more along the lines of “Wow, how incredible is that for you! You are so blessed!”

I am blessed. I have lived a life that some people only imagine. I have a family who loves and cares for me. Sometimes I forget that; especially, on those days when I’m feeling selfish or annoyed at them. I have someone special whose smile makes me smile at the slightest thought of it and whose destiny is so big that I can’t help but be amazed at him.

I got my heart broken and learned to love again.I look around my memory in wonderment. I recall places I’ve been and people I’ve met as if I had read them, like events written in black letters on parchment or imagined as though they were characters in a movie I’ve seen. But none of these things were made up. All of them happened to me. Each and every one. I’m glad my friend pointed this out, however unknowingly. For that, I am truly thankful.

So many years have passed since I started this blog and in that time I have matured and encountered so many more life experiences. I am f...