Making too much of nothing...

It's GORGEOUS outside here btw.It rained today and I carried my blue umbrella the way i used to when I lived in Haflong.Things are so different here.I remember having to carry an umbrella everyday there cos the weather was so unpredictable there.Its been very different here in Delhi.And today, I want to go out shopping and just drive around. I don't have much money though. And I want to go with a friend.YES ! I KNOW ITS SUNDAY TODAY and it is ridiculous having to jump out of your bed and rush to work when the rest of the world in enjoying monsoon. I want to go to the Haus Khaz fort with Ashim or go out to a bar tonight with friends even though I don't need the alcohol...I am going to call him Ashim from now on cos it feels REAL that way.Last time, he saw something in me that I couldn’t see. And every time he looked at me, I felt alive again.

Inspite of all these beautiful weather out ,Delhi doesn’t feel like home anymore. I used to feel as if I had two homes. Two places full of friends and family. Two places where I could be myself and be happy. This summer is different. It is not a place where I want to be for a long period of time. Perhaps I wouldn’t feel this way if my old friends were around. My friends have all moved away and so now there isn’t much left for me to do. All I have right now is a cup of coffee which is not enough. I am bored. I don’t even have a boyfriend to hang out with or cuddle when its raining. I have my sister who is only sleeping when she's home or out to work. Here at work there are women all of who I can not stand for too long. I don’t want to say hi or good morning when I don’t feel like it. I don’t want people to talk to me unless I talk to them. Actually I don’t want people to talk at all (unless I give them permission) but I know that is very unreasonable and even more unlikely.

(sad I know).