Tug of War

I can objectivity see where my life is.I am at a scale that seeks the harmony of well-balanced life, both personal and professional.It's like a of a tug of war between two giants. Yes ! Yes ! I will not fall victim to blind optimism.CPW Transition training is boring to the core and i've chosen Orange bus under Joris.Nothing much interesting happening in the training hub except for my natural plea to cut it short because most of the things that Rakesh speak is irrelevant to the process.And some of my dumb colleagues in their endless effort to prove their concentration ask ten question is five minutes and that really puts me off.Prachi , Alka and Amit are nonstop learners of dummy rocket science while Neeraj,Juicy & I are born scientists just grasping things and keeping it safe in the head.Plus we secretly stay connected to AOL, google and orkut in the class :-D while others are dealing with Kana and Dise.I will be certified tomorrow.Yay ! :-)

This side,I think i'm in love with MTV .I mean I have been tempted to over commit and overindulge in one of the Roadies Community on orkut.I can spend hours reading retard discussions and participating in forums.It keeps me occupied.I haven't had the time to miss anyone....plus I have learned that indulging in silly things don't hurt.There has been bad experience there like,I have been victim of identity theft where jobless retards cloned my profile and started abusing.But it didn't matter to me.Not at all.I care least now.I have been compared with some Bosky all day and I have no clue what she's all about.At one time,I did feel like my creative expression was blocked there, but again,I didn't try so hard to push against it because I feel like slowing down a bit and its for a reason. There I found a place within where I am not judging myself based on my production.And where everyone is detached.And nobody knows me.Things are a lot easier when you realize that there's no need to try to impress anyone.But yes,I will be wise to remember that too much of a good thing is not necessarily a good thing.

Last night I saw HER dying in my dream.And I was cold.I am not able to figure out what lies behind all that.But when I woke up,I thought about her and felt bad.Nevermind! I know there are some unnecessary discussions goin' on somewhere and all I can say is that they got to do something better to bother me.My willingness to delve into the mysteries of my own psyche can lead to bad scene at home.But I will choose to stay quiet.I know it's not so simple when what you bring into awareness creates tension with your peers and that keeping the intensity to myself is not a viable solution. But I am too much ahead of them to resist their allegations or prove my courage to show positive transformation.They have lost me now.It's too late.

I think I shouldn't be tempted to go overboard and write more than you should.Later !