I’ve been feeling not so great lately. Anxiety has a grip on my heart.

Sometimes I don’t understand why things have to be the way they are. No-brain choices backfire and inadvertently cause damage & forgiving becomes the only option. And I don’t want any more damage. I feel alone and lost enough as it is and I can’t take any more.

I’m afraid of what the bigger implications of all this mean. I feel like lately my efforts are wasted, and yet, at the same time, like they are not enough. Feeling you slip away is like feeling a part of myself slip away. We’ve always been creepily intertwined like that. The same person in different bodies. I want to know what I’ve done wrong….... absolutely terrified.